Depression in Men

Depression doesn't always look like sadness.

You may not feel “depressed.”

Maybe you're just exhausted.

You're more irritable than usual. You don't want to be around people. Things you used to enjoy don't hold your attention anymore.

You're working more. Sleeping differently. Drinking more. Exercising obsessively. Staying busy.

Or maybe you're doing everything you're supposed to do while feeling completely disconnected inside.

Depression in men can be easy to miss—even by the man experiencing it.

What depression can look like in men

Men may experience depression through:

Irritability or anger
Emotional numbness
Loss of motivation
Withdrawal
Fatigue
Difficulty concentrating
Changes in sleep
Loss of interest
Increased substance use
Feeling overwhelmed
Relationship problems
Feeling like a failure
Feeling disconnected from life
Feeling like nothing will change

Sometimes depression sounds less like “I'm sad” and more like:

“I just want everyone to leave me alone.”

“I don't care anymore.”

“I'm tired of doing this.”

“I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“I just need to get my shit together.”

When you've learned to push through

Many men have spent years responding to difficult emotions by working harder, staying busy, solving problems, or simply refusing to think about them.

That can work for a while.

But pushing through doesn't necessarily resolve what's underneath.

Therapy can help you understand the difference between simply having a difficult period and experiencing something that needs more attention.

Depression can affect your relationships

When you're depressed, it can become harder to communicate, connect, be patient, or participate emotionally in your relationships.

Your partner may experience you as distant.

You may experience your partner as demanding.

Both people can end up feeling rejected and misunderstood.

Addressing depression can be an important part of improving your relationships—not because everything is “your fault,” but because emotional health and relationships affect one another.

You don't have to hit bottom to get help.

Therapy for men with depression can help you understand what's happening, identify patterns that are keeping you stuck, and begin making changes.

You don't have to have the perfect explanation.

You don't even have to be sure you're depressed.

You can start with:

“Something has changed, and I don't feel like myself.”

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